


Uncharted Territory (preheat to 350 Remix)

by Akasanata



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: Still Have Powers, Erik Has Feelings, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, M/M, Relationship Negotiation, aromantic Charles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-06-30 10:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19851154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akasanata/pseuds/Akasanata
Summary: Charles doesn't want things with Erik to end, but he can't see how they can continue.





	Uncharted Territory (preheat to 350 Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ikeracity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikeracity/gifts).
  * Inspired by [preheat to 350 (just for you remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19709893) by [ikeracity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikeracity/pseuds/ikeracity). 
  * In response to a prompt by [ikeracity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikeracity/pseuds/ikeracity) in the [xmen_remix_madness2019](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/xmen_remix_madness2019) collection. 



> While I was reading preheat to 350 I couldn't help but think that this could very easily happen to me, and it immediately hit me: what if Charles *was* like me?

Charles wasn’t moping. Yes, he could admit that parting from Erik hurt, a lot. But he wasn’t moping. Raven of course, thought otherwise, and didn’t get tired of telling him every time she had the chance, which was all the time now, considering they were living together for the moment.

“It’s just that I had never seen you like this! You _love_ him, don’t you?” she finally asked one day.

“Of course I do,” said Charles, “but not like that,” he finished with a sigh.

“Then why are you moping like a 13-year-old after her crush rejected her?” she exclaimed in exasperation.

Charles sighed again. “Just let it go, Raven, please.”

“Fine,” she said after a tense moment. Charles could feel her mind taking a resolve that didn’t match her words, but he knew that at least she would stop pestering him for a while. Charles sighed, once again. He was doing a lot of sighing these days. And no, it wasn’t moping.

It wasn’t after he ran into Erik when he was talking to Hank that he realized how much he missed Erik, how much he loved him and wanted back what they had. That’s why when Raven told him two days later she had convinced Erik to give Charles a chance to talk, Charles didn’t get angry. Not too much, anyway. Or well, not at the moment. Now though, was a different matter. He wished Raven had never intervened.

The silence in the car was stifling. Neither of them said a single word as Erik drove Charles back to his place, with the box of Charles’ belongings in the truck. This wasn’t good. He had had his chance, but now it felt as a more definite ending.

Soon, they reached their destination, but when Charles went to unfasten his belt, Erik stopped him.

“Was that really all?” asked Erik. Charles didn’t understand what he was talking about. For the first time in the evening since Charles arrived at Erik’s place, Erik was showing emotions, but they were of frustration and anger. “Your sister,” Erik elaborated, “she said you had to talk to me. She convinced me to give you an opportunity to speak. Was that really all you had to say? That you really liked what we had and would like another chance? Because that’s not enough, Charles. That's not enough!”

Charles’ heart sank at hearing those words. He had always known he wasn’t enough, but he had been hoping that, against all, this time it would be. Erik thought they were dating before, didn’t he? He had been happy with what they had, hadn’t he? Why wasn’t it enough now?

“I…” Charles began, but he didn’t have anything to say and let the word die.

“Just tell me one thing, Charles,” Erik turned to see him in the eye. His expression was sad but hopeful at the same time, and with a fragility Charles had never seen in him, he continued, “do you love me?”

Charles felt his eyes beginning to tear up. This had all been a mistake. He should have never come. He should have told Raven that her meddling was useless. He was just making everything worse.

“Yes,” Charles murmured, “but not, not like you might love me.”

“So you love me just as friends?!” Erik was hurt, and that only made him angrier.

“Yes, but no! Not _just._ ”The tears began to flow and Charles wanted to disappear.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Erik was almost shouting. “Explain yourself, because you’re not making any sense!”

“I can’t,” Charles said, and began to cry earnestly.

“Then show me!” Erik yelled, placing his hands on Charles’ forehead.

And Charles did. He let his feelings for Erik leak. He showed him how it was first a simple fuck buddies thing, grateful that there wasn’t anything more needed from him but good sex. Then it progressed to friends with benefits, grateful for the companionship, the camaderie, the chess games with political discussions. Then, after they broke up, how he realized that he didn’t want to let go, how he wanted to grow old with Erik. But there was no way to hide the absence of romantic love. Charles kept going. He went further down his memories, how he had always loved all those romantic movies, all those romantic clichés and ever after stories, and how resentful of them he became when that promised magical feeling never came. How he still tried dating, but he was never enough, because he couldn’t love his partners the way they loved him.

“I can’t love anyone,” whispered Charles, folding his telepathy back to his mind.

Erik’s anger, that up to that moment was almost choking, ebbed away, leaving only confusion.

“I’ve felt that sentiment people have when they say they’re in love,” Charles continued, tapping his forehead, “but I’ve never _felt_ it.”

“Oh,” said Erik, and after a moment, “so you’re aromantic?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You know, you don’t feel romantic attraction, so you’re aromantic?” Erik said, raising his tone in the end, to show his uncertainty.

Charles for his part felt as if his brain had short circuited. He was so dumbstruck he had stopped crying. Charles had always thought he was above labels. He thought labels only restricted, contained people into boxes. Sure, the more specific the label, the smaller the box, but each person was unique, and, in the end, there would be as many labels as there are people. For Charles, labels were unnecessary. He could get to know each person as the uniqueness they were. Specially with the advantage his telepathy gave him. But just one word had tilted his world.

Erik was still looking at him expectantly, but Charles was speechless.

“You… you didn’t know.”

It was more and affirmation than a question, but Charles still answered, “No, I thought…” he took a deep breath and continued. “At first I thought it was because of my telepathy. But then I met Jean, and she’s very much in love. So, I thought it was only me. Maybe a combination of my telepathy and well, my parents weren’t the loving type,” he licked his lips to give himself a moment. “Is it common?”

“Not common, but there are many aromantic people. Mutants also, not only humans. There is nothing wrong with you, Charles, you know that, right?”

Charles didn’t answer.

“Come on,” Erik continued after a while, “let’s get you home. I suppose you have things to figure out.”

Charles wanted to protest, the problem was, there wasn't really anything he could say. He did have to figure things out, but he didn’t want to lose Erik. He didn’t realise he had projected that thought until Erik spoke.

“No, Charles, you’re not going to lose me. We can continue this conversation later, when you’re ready,” he looked out the window and then, murmuring and still looking away, said, “ I shouldn’t have assumed we were dating before first discussing it. I got angry, but it was not your fault. Also, it wasn't fair what I said. With Hank.” Without waiting for an answer, he opened the door and went to retrieve Charles’ box. The awkwardness of the apology, specially knowing how Erik never apologised for anything, made Charles smile, and suddenly, this encounter hadn’t been the worst thing to happen.

The first thing he did when he was alone (after telling a worried Raven he would explain later when she saw him enter with his things in a box), was google aromanticism. He felt conflicted. On one hand, he was liberated. That weight that had settled over him some time after his third boyfriend, was finally lifted. He was not broken. He wasn’t damaged. On the other hand, the wish that one day he would find The One, that he would have his happily ever after, was snuffed. For one moment, when he found the term demiromantic, he dared to hope, but after thinking for a while, he realized that if he was going to fall for someone it would have been Erik.

The next week was a rollercoaster. He came out to Raven, who didn’t understand and seemed to think that he had given up in finding love, but she didn’t say anything about it, so Charles let it go. Then, there was Erik. They kept in contact, texting every day, but they hadn’t met again. Charles was really grateful. It showed that Erik wasn’t lying when he said Charles wouldn’t lose him, but also gave them the space they both needed after everything that had happened. It didn’t mean Charles didn’t miss him any less, in fact, the ache that was Erik’s absence was a constant throbbing that only diminished when they texted (and later had phone calls).

Finally, by the end of the agonizingly slow week, Charles dared to ask during a video call, “Would you be open to have a relationship with me? Even, even knowing what I am?”

“I’ve been thinking about it, and you were right. We had a good thing going on. And you liked it, right? You were confortable?”

Charles nodded.

“Then,” Erik continued, “I’m sure we can make it work.”

Charles’ heart was going a mile per minute, but he tried not to get his hopes up. Not yet.

“Even though your mother will never be happy with it? With you being with someone who doesn’t love you?”

Erik’s lips thinned, and he seemed to give the question serious thought. Charles was grateful for that, but also, he couldn’t stand the wait, it being only a few seconds notwithstanding.

“You’re wrong about that. You do love me. I felt it, did you forget? It might be different, but it’s love, and that’s enough. I’ll explain to my mother, she’s very understanding when not mad. I told you, we can make this work, if you want it.”

“Yes, god, yes!”

This was uncharted territory for both of them, but he knew with certainty that it would be worth it. That happy ending he craved didn't have to include romance after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, this ended up being more personal than expected. Woops. Also, I didn't know how to finish it, sorry! Initially I had planned for Charles to meet Edie again, but the time wasn't enough...


End file.
